A great gym buddy can enhance your life in many ways. They help you stay motivated when you’d rather watch Netflix with a bag of crisps. They assist you in squeezing out that extra rep on the leg press. Perhaps they helped you find a workout that increased your gains.
A great workout partner is as essential as the perfect pre/post-workout protein combo or the correct ratio of electrolytes in your hydration drink.
The wrong gym buddy is a different story…
A bad gym buddy can be frustrating, annoying, and embarrassing. They can even be dangerous to your health!
What Type of Gym Buddy are you?
We’ve got your back here. We at Body Fitness Wellness, have gone above and beyond to create the ultimate, definitive (the only) guide to awful gym buddies. We guarantee (kind of) that you never experience the issues a sub-standard gym buddy can cause.
Perhaps you identify some of these traits in yourself, don’t worry; we are here to help your self-development! Maybe you notice some similarities in your current gym buddy. This can be a delicate situation, and we recommend seeking professional relationship guidance.
Let’s dive straight in.
The “Interval Trainer” Gym Buddy
Interval training is excellent, right? Yes, but not when the work to rest ratio is one week on x three weeks off!
The “Energy Vampire” Gym Buddy
Your training partner has rocked up full of drive and motivation. They Blu-Tacked quotes from The Rock’s Instagram on their work PC screen and carb-loaded sports drinks all day to ensure their energy levels were peaking just at the right time for tonight’s workout.
Only for The Energy Vampire to drain them of all positivity the second they arrive.
Favourite quotes of The Energy Vampire:
“I’m not sure how up for this I am after the day I’ve had.”
“It took every last bit of effort I’ve got left in me just to show up for this”
The Energy Vampire also loves to moan about their job, respective partner, boss, best friend, or mother-in-law.
The “Never Shuts Up” Gym Buddy
Chatting in the gym between sets is fine, but how does The “Never Shuts Up” Gym Buddy talk when pressing a set of dumbbells overhead? This gym buddy often trains at questionable levels of intensity.
The “Loses Focus” Gym Buddy
Caution: This gym buddy can be highly damaging to your health!
Especially when they are browsing through Twitter when they should be spotting your PR bench press or chatting up the Insta model on the adjacent squat rack when they should be taking your dumbbells.
The “Yeeeeeeaaaaah Buddy!” Gym Buddy
Unexpectedly shouting motivational quotes at the top of their voice, often just at the wrong time, makes The Yeeeeeeaaaaah Buddy bloody annoying, highly embarrassing, and potentially hazardous to all gym-goers.
The “No Inhibitions” Gym Buddy
With behaviour ranging from obscenely tight gym shorts, carefree flatulence on the gym floor, and/or inappropriate proximity/nudity during conversations in the showers, The “No Inhibitions” Gym Buddy is a menace to everyone.
The “Warming Up is for Losers” Gym Buddy
That guy or girl who walks in loads the bar and starts deadlifting 90% of one-rep max.
The Warming up is for losers’ gym buddy flat out refuses to acknowledge any modern-day science on the benefits of warming up. In fact, they cite that one redacted paper from the 1970’s Soviet Union that may have suggested warming up might not be necessary for some instances, as if it were Bill Pearl’s “Keys to the Inner Universe.”
The “Perpetual Stretcher” Gym Buddy
At the opposite end of the spectrum from The Warming Up is for Losers’ gym buddy; we have The Perpetual Stretcher.
Listen, my friend, I don’t care what you say. I am not. I repeat, not going to gain any muscle mass from stretching for 45 minutes when I arrive, doing a few internal shoulder rotations (stretching between sets of course), and then stretching for another hour. I don’t care if it means I get to hang out with all the hot, flexible yoga influencers in the Mobility Zone…
The “Perfect Gym Buddy”
It’s simple, really. From all the above, we can ascertain that the perfect gym buddy.
Shows up to scheduled workouts
Brings positivity, inspiration, and motivation
Engages in meaningful conversation but knows when it’s time to shut up
Stays focussed on the task at hand
Occasionally drops a motivational quote at the appropriate time and volume.
Leans towards nicely fitted gym wear, flatulence moderation, and appropriate proximity in the changing room.
Warms up and cools down for a sensible and practical amount of time.
Maybe you’ve realised just how terrific your gym buddy really is!